My Shiny Friend (transcript)
Episode: My Shiny Friend *episode begins at Ren and Stimpy's House. Stimpy is shown to be watching The Muddy Mudskipper Show on TV. *Stimpy: Hey, Muddy, don't hit me with that mallet! *Mr. Horse: Hey, Muddy, don't hit me with that mallet. *Muddy Mudskipper: Shut up, stupid! *Stimpy: Pow! *bonking sound is heard as Muddy hits Mr. Horse. The audience laughs, as with Stimpy. *Stimpy: What are ya? *Mr. Horse: (dazed) What are ya? *who is about to go to work, walks by Stimpy. *Mr. Horse: Look at him go, I'm sure you wanna waste perfectly good lunch meat like that. *looks at Stimpy. *Mr. Horse: What are ya? laughs *Ren: Hey, genius. *Ren is talking, Stimpy's eyes contort and distort in different directions in order to focus on the TV. *Ren: You think I go to work so you can watch TV all day?! *nods "yes" and continues watching TV. *Ren: TV, TV, TV, TV! Why don't you do something constructive with your life?! Now go iron my shirts! (growls) Awww... what's the use. (walks off) *door slam is heard as Stimpy changes the channel. *Narrator: Hey, racing fans! It's time for the... Drag Your Butt on The Carpet 500! Brought to you by... Dr. Chuck Heimley's worm burn cream! *time card appears that says "LATER THAT NIGHT". *returns home from work. Meanwhile, Stimpy is still watching TV. *Curly: (off-screen) Gee, Moe, I wish I could remember when I was a baby brought by the stork. *Moe: (off-screen) You weren't brought by a stork, you were brought by a buzzard. *gets caught off guard and looks at Stimpy. *Larry: (off-screen) Oh, special delivery, eh? *health seems to be deteriorating as Ren appears next to him. *Ren: Well, well, I might've guessed it. Still watching TV, eh? *nods "yes". *Ren: Did you turn yourself away long enough to make my dinner? And now, I'm going to change, into something comfortable. *changes the channel. *Narrator: Okay, housewives. It's "Cookin' with Chicken"! *chicken with a bib, a chef hat, and a spoon is shown on the TV screen. *Chicken: Today, I'm gonna cook for you... my all-time favorite dish. kisses Chef surprise! Marcello Mastroianni! *chicken tosses away the chef hat and spoon, and jumps into a boiling frying pan. *Chicken: Now add-a your tomatoes-- (screams) and simmer for twenty minutes! Aah! *has grown visible stubble and is roasting a chicken over a campfire. *Chicken: Until golden brown! Now you cookin'-- (screams) That's good. *Ren: Man, smell that hickory flavor. is heard. Somebody's knockin' at the door. I'll get it. (walks up to door and starts singing) Fiddle-dee-dee, fiddle-dee-dee, the fly married the bumblebee. Whistling *door is knocked on three more times. *Ren: Hold your water! I'm coming, I'm coming! *Fire Chief kicks the door down on Ren and starts running forwards. Two other firemen follow him. *Fire Chief: Coming through! *walks up to Stimpy and suddenly screams. Three firemen have now joined Stimpy in watching the TV. *Narrator: Okay, boys and girls, It's time for... fire patrol! *Ren: Now see here, that's my dinner! (points to the chicken wings Stimpy and the firemen are holding) *and the firemen put down their chicken, and simultaneously shush Ren. This causes Ren to grow frustrated. Fade to Ren and Stimpy's house at night, where Ren is ready to go to bed. *Ren: Well, time to crawl into my nice, big, soft bed. What?! *is sleeping in bed while holding the TV, leaving no room for Ren. *Ren: And just where the heck am I supposed to sleep? *points at the drawer, making Ren grow even more frustrated until he suddenly looks relieved. Ren holds the TV and throws it out, and does the same to Stimpy. Ren now fully occupies the bed. Fade to the house in the morning, *Ren: singing Yellowish puce. humming Yellowish puce. Huh?! *is still glued to the TV and is now watching a TV show called "Farm Report" with his cow. *Narrator: Okay farm boys, grab a hold of the under cow and squeeze. *Ren: Alright, that's it! I'm putting a stop to this right now! *picks up Stimpy and starts heading outside. *Ren: Yep... you're going outside. *is now on a bike. *Ren: There now, isn't that better? Now run along, and play with your eediot friends. *rides off with his bike. *Ren: Look at him go. Daddy's little simpleton. *rides the bike up a tree. Ren happily walks off, only to hear The Muddy Mudskipper Show, prompting him to go up the tree himself. There, he sees Stimpy, a cow, and three chicks, all watching TV in a bird's nest. *Mr. Horse: Hit me with that mallet. bonking sound is heard. What are ya? *the cow. and the three chicks laugh. *Ren: (mockingly) What are ya? *pokes the cow, and indicates all five of them to get out of the nest. They glumly walk out of the tree, while Stimpy holds the TV in his hand. A few seconds later, Stimpy, the cow, and the three chicks are shown crying. It is revealed that Ren is about to bury the TV. *Ren: Good riddance, bad rubbish. *kicks the TV into the hole he made, making Stimpy run away crying. Once Ren finishes burying the TV, an antenna pops out of the hole all of a sudden. It is then shown that Stimpy is still watching the TV underneath the ground, albeit with a mole. Ren reaches into the hole and grabs Stimpy's nose. *Ren: Come on. *pulls out Stimpy and the mole, who try to resist him. Ren now has a shovel plus a maniacal face, and is about to destroy the TV. *Stimpy: (gasps) Ren, no! *does a war cry as he runs towards the TV. Stimpy screams and jumps away. *Ren: Hiii-yah! *destroys the TV with his shovel, as Stimpy looks on terrified. Stimpy starts having a nervous meltdown and bawls intensely. The TV is now nothing but a heap of rubble. Stimpy jumps in front of Ren's knees. *Stimpy: Nooo! (bawling) Please... sobbing must... have.... TV-V-V-V! sobbing *throws the shovel away. Stimpy holds the remains of the TV. *Ren: Look at you. You disgust me. *Stimpy: (sobbing) Must... put it back... together-r-r! *rubs the broken TV shards over his face and whimpers. Ren rushes over to Stimpy and slaps him. *Ren: (angrily) Snap out of it! snaps out of being confused and calms down. *Stimpy: Gee, Ren, I'm sorry. I guess I... I kinda... went a little crazy, heh-heh. But I'm okay now. *Ren: Alright, but I'm keeping an eye on you. *Stimpy: Duh, okay Ren. You're the boss. *growls. Fade to the house at night, where Ren enjoys himself while Stimpy sits on a chair. *Stimpy: Uh, Ren? Can I go number one? *Ren: Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah. Sure, sure. *goes to the men's bathroom and goes back to the chair he was sitting on. *Ren: Did ya have a nice one? *Stimpy: None nicer! *Stimpy: Oh, Reeen! *Ren: Yeees? *Stimpy: I gotta do... number two! *Ren: Don't wake the neighbors. *goes to the boys' bathroom, and then returns to the chair he was sitting on, only this time he is hidden beneath a mattress. *Stimpy: Oh, Ren. *Ren: Yeees? *Stimpy: I gotta go... number three! *Ren: Number three it is, pal. *speeds over to the girls' bathroom. *Ren: (chuckles) Why, I can't remember the last time I did number three. (surprised) Number three?! (angrily) What the heck? *puts his head up against the bathroom door. *Ren: Hmm... *Stimpy: Hey pal, I'm back. And he doesn't suspect a thing. *grumbles and looks inside the keyhole. There, Stimpy is walking across the bathroom. *Stimpy: I'll have you out of there in a jiffy, little buddy. *pulls down a lever which pulls the TV out of the toilet. This prompts Stimpy to start watching it again as The Muddy Mudskipper Show is faintly heard. *Ren: (off-screen) I see what you're doing in there. Open that door! *time, Stimpy grows more and more vegetable-like, still watching TV. *Ren: (off-screen) I'm not kidding! I said open up, you little punk! *Stimpy is completely overdosed on TV. *Ren: (off-screen) Open that stinkin' door, or I'll kick it in! open the door Stimpy! *looks at Stimpy. Stimpy is glowing green and is twitching on the floor. *Ren: Oh no! He's overdosed on TV! *was holding Stimpy. *Ren: sadly There there, old pal. We'll have to put you somewhere where you can't hurt yourself any longer. *sheds tears of sadness and hugs Stimpy. Fade to house at night. Ren is sadly sitting on the couch while "Paillasse" by Ruggero Leoncavallo plays on a record. Various memorabilia of Ren and Stimpy is shown. Ren starts tearing up while trying to maintain a smile. Meanwhile, Stimpy twists and turns while sleeping. Fade to Stimpy's nightmare. In it, Muddy Mudskipper is about to hit Stimpy with a mallet. *Stimpy: Hey, Muddy, what are you gonna do with that mallet? raises the mallet. Muddy, I'm your friend! *Muddy Mudskipper: Ah-ha! *Mudskipper strikes Stimpy on the head, causing him to groan. *Muddy Mudskipper: Give the bum a big hand. *to Stimpy back asleep. *Stimpy: What are ya? *back to Stimpy's nightmare. Now, a giant Muddy Mudskipper is chasing Stimpy. *Muddy Mudskipper: You're a bum! *Stimpy: But Muddy, I love you! *Muddy Mudskipper: A lousy, stinkin' bum! *groans in his sleep. In the dream, Muddy has turned into a TV with legs. *Muddy Mudskipper: You're a bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum! (loudly yelling) Buuummm! *slow motion, Stimpy screams and falls into the TV's mouth. Suddenly, now in normal motion, Stimpy awakens from his dream. *Stimpy: MUDDY! *looks up and runs upstairs to a cell in the house. *Stimpy: Lord, help me. sobbing I want my TVVVVV!!! *doesn't hear him as he's fallen asleep, and the record stops. Stimpy gets on his knees and prays. *timecard appears that says "One Year Later". Cut to the house in the morning. *Ren: Well Stimpy, I have to admit. Your behavior has been exemplary. So, you don't have to live in the basement anymore. *Stimpy: Ring-a ding ding! Thank you, sir! *is seen in a car. *Ren: Okay buddy, be good. drives off. *Stimpy: Goodbye, Ren! I promise, no TV! *whistles and goes back to the living room. *Stimpy: Okay guys, he's gone. *cow, the mole and the three chicks from before arrive. They and Stimpy all run off to play a casino game. *Stimpy: (while rolling dice) Come on, seven! Baby needs a new pair of shoes! *out. *Stimpy: off-screen Craps! Category:Episode Transcripts